I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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