yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
