I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
