it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
