shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
