There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
