Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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