My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
