It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
