I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
