well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize