I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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