....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
