quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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