We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
