Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
