Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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