Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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