I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
