So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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