I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
