I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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