Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
