i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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