I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
