i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
