i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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