I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
