whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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