yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
