so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
