Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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