you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
