guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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