Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
