Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Let's get the cat blown out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize