In the future we'll all be gay
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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