If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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