so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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