I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
