is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
