forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just google imaged poop.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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