Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My vagina is officially offended.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
