Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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