my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
