every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
