..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
