my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
