it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
