Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
