I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
