Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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