everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
honey bunches of taint.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
