drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
