I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
