My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
