return my video game
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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