at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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