please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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