Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
