Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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